Workaholism and Relationship Fundamentals
Workaholism is a symptom, not a cause, of missing one or more of the fundamental ingredients of a healthy relationship (in romantic partnership or with yourself):
Like
Love
Lust
Trust
Space
You gotta genuinely like them as a person. They’re someone you want to be lifelong friends with and you enjoy spending time with them. Afterwards, you feel really good and even more like yourself. You feel seen and you feel simpatico. Laughter is a consistent part of your hard times as well as your easy times together. And you’re proud to introduce them to others because they’re authentically kind and caring.
You gotta love them. They are a soul match, someone whose goodness, inner beauty, sensibilities, affection, and intimacy are a double helix that wraps around your own heart and how you love yourself. Your love feeds their love feeds your love, and round and round it goes. Its beauty is in its depth and devotion that grows, rather than withers, in the 5D and the 3D over the years.
You gotta want them. It’s primal. It’s spiritual. It’s not something you can make up or pretend or invent, though many people have tried. You just gotta have them. You want to be near them. They smell like home. They taste like heaven. Either it’s there or it’s not. It’s holy and it’s erotic. It’s the fire, baby. And you can’t cook without it.
You gotta trust them. You know they have your back and they’re reliable. You trust them with your money, your health, your kids (if you have them), and with all the seemingly small agreements you make. They communicate honestly and they ARE their word. They show up and are count-on-able. It’s not blind loyalty. It’s action aligned with commitment that resonates with the equally deep commitment you have to yourself.
You gotta have space. Slowness. Time for integration. Time for the unexpected. Time for quiet communion. And you probably need more of it than is culturally normalized.
There are many people on the planet who partner in ways that don’t fit this “recipe” (including many neurodivergent peeps). What matters is having clarity about what constitutes a whole and full relationship for YOU. Without a robust recipe, all the small moments between you go from the joyful brick-by-brick building of a kingdom to death by a thousand paper cuts. Workaholism (and all forms of checking out and numbing out), dysfunctional communication, and co-dependency are the most common symptoms of these breakdowns.
If you haven’t already, re-read this to see if your relationship with yourself has these five ingredients as well. Because, well, it always starts with you.
Be clear. Cut no corners. Settle for nothing less than the one who makes you feel all the ways you want to feel, who helps you re-member all the things your soul deeply knows, whether thats someone else or you, yourself.
Map it.
Feel it.
And then let destiny deliver it.
